Right about now I figure Jeb Bush -- the worst return on investment since Pets.com -- is crying into a highball of whiskey wondering about his life choices. Mitt Romney, I presume, is holding a warm glass of milk and doing the same.
Both men have decided that to stop the runaway freight train of Donald Trump's candidacy, they'll need to lay down on the tracks; that is, both men have just endorsed Ted Cruz.
I can't imagine either Bush or Romney feels very good about this. Back in the fall, George W. Bush said of Cruz, "I just don't like the guy" -- a sentiment I'm sure is shared with his brother. The GOP establishment for years has shown barely contained hatred for Cruz, often outright hostility, and Jeb and Mitt are as establishment as it gets.
Of course, everyone hates that guy. My favorite genre of political writing is the anthology of hatred for Ted Cruz. In the words of Lindsey Graham, "If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you."
So, good God, Jebra and Mittens -- my heart goes out to you. Bush spent the campaign looking like a child sent to fumble his way through a piano recital, Romney like the dad trying to get his children to get off their phones and sit down for a game of Boggle. Watching these two sad-sack blue bloods kiss the ring of an amoral golem comprised of melted earwax, buffalo feces and children's tears -- it's the happiest I've been this entire election season.
If I didn't know we were just one Hillary Clinton campaign catastrophe away from handing Ted Cruz or Donald Trump the nuclear codes, I'd be almost ecstatic.